Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Perfect Gift Every Time


My best friend and I have a sure thing going in the gift-giving department. We've known each other for twenty years and never once has it failed to deliver to us the best gift for any occasion from the other person. And in the spirit of the holidays, I'm going to share it with you.


Every year, every birthday, every Christmas, any gift-giving occasion, my best friend has given me you the best gift of all, and I've given her the best one as well. Even when I was unemployed or she was living on student loans, the best present every time comes from the other. Here's how.


First, you enjoy opening the gifts that others have generously outfitted you with. Second, you do a quick calculation of the cash and checks that others have sent you in lieu of a gift-wrapped box, which they think in impersonal but we all know is the bomb. Third, say or write a quick thank you. (Good manners mean as much as any gift.) Four, take the money you received and add or subtract what ever amount your bank account can afford, then buy the one thing you really wanted but didn't get. (Works for every budget.) Fifth, final, and most fun, call your best friend and tell them all about the fabulous gift they gave you that no one else thought to and you were dying to have. Praise them for their exquisite taste and for knowing you so well that they get you the perfect gift every time. Your best friend repeats the sequence. Soon you'll get your own phone call telling you what an amazing gift you got them that only you could think of.


Hence, you have given the best gift every time with out any of the stress over what to buy, budget, shipping, etc. My best friend has given me books and entire seasons of television shows, concert tickets, even a car payment. And every time I walk into her place she points out the fabulous new anime item or rich fabric I've given her that she's creating an amazing piece with.


So if you're interested in being the best gift giver ever, check out Caiti and Christy's Guaranteed Best-Gift-Ever system. Give the best, get the best, from the best. Twenty years of satisfaction and many more to come.


I wonder what fabulous gift I'll get her this Christmas? I'll wait for the call!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Terms of Endearment


We need a new colloquialism.

I do not feel my "Biological Clock" ticking. What I feel as a 31 year-old single woman who hasn't dated in . . . Never mind. I don't want a baby right now. I do want the opportunity to have a healthy baby in the, hopefully, near future. But every year that goes by, my eggs get a little less healthy, a little less reliable, and a little less prolific. I know women have healthy babies into their 40's and now 50's, but statistically, my chances of conception and a healthy baby are better the younger I am.

What we need is a term that describes a woman's biological concern for the option of having a baby if she isn't yet in a relationship or financial situation to allow her to responsibly fulfill the desire to, some day, have a child. Ideally, I'd be married to my best friend who would provide that essential father and co-parent role that study after study shows is so important. I have to admit, though, that were I financially and professionally secure, I might make a go of it on my own.

I've always wanted to adopt, and that's certainly one thing I plan to pursue when I'm ready, though adoptions to single women who aren't celebrities are more rare than you might think. Again, my desire to some day have a child, biological or adopted, is dependant on a man and/or money. Money isn't something you get a Master's in Public Health for and men can reproduce with healthy sperm long past the point of no return that women face.

So let's come up with a new way of conveying the desire for the option of having a healthy baby that doesn't imply it must happen immediately. Me and my fellow 30-something women who, like me, are having little success with men and money, would appreciate not being associated with an explosive device in our ovaries.